The Lies We Can't Accept

To be honest, for most of my life I have been told who I can or can't be and what I can or can't do. I'm sure most of you relate to that statement in some way. More recently, I have been facing a lot of confliction with what I want to do and how I am being told to be or act. We all can see more general examples of this in society. We constantly hear that if we come from a certain ethnicity, we should probably look a certain way. And if we don't, then we're simply not. That's a more general example, but I've been wanting to get personal. I remember watching The Perks of Being a Wallflower and hearing the statement, "We accept the love we think we deserve." It lead me to a theory that is quite similar to that statement. We accept the 'truth' we think we deserve. Now whether you have a sense of confidence that no one can tear down, your truth might look different from someone who doesn't think so highly of themselves. For as long as I can remember, it has been implemented in me that simply because I am young, I must be stupid, foolish, lackadaisical, and a burden on society. I can't tell you how many times I've hear someone start a sentence with, "These young people think they're so..." We've been told this by teachers and professors, mentors, and sometimes even our own family members. Now I don't want to get into the blaming game because that is not the purpose of this post.

The purpose of this is to help someone claim back their identity apart from what everyone else has told them. I find that as a young person, I base a lot of my conclusions and ideas of myself off of what everyone else tells me and the end results of accomplishments or failures. Now maybe I am foolish for that, who knows? If I get straight As in school, that means I'm smart. If I make my mom and dad proud, that must mean I'm a good child and good person. If I trip and fall, that must mean I'm a clumsy fool. If my parent or teacher tells me to humble myself, then that must mean I'm a prideful person. If I make a mistake, that must mean I've failed. If I disappoint my parents, then that must mean I'm a disappointment. Now obviously that's ridiculous, but I am just giving examples to show how our experiences and the things people say to us can either lift us up or harshly define us. Apart of being a Christian means knowing that our self-worth and definition does not come from an imperfect people and an imperfect world. It comes from the only one who is perfect, which is Jesus Christ.

So, I started an exercise. I began writing in a journal all of the things that someone has told me versus what I know. I'm going to give an example and hopefully this will encourage someone beyond what others or their situation tells them. On a sidenote, before I get this started, I encourage you to do this exercise as well.

Things I've Been Told Things I know

1) "You can't do it." 1) I can do all things through Christ alone.

2)"You'll embarrass yourself." 2) Trying is never embarrassing.

3)"You don't know anything." 3) I may not know everything, but God did not create me with an empty or foolish mind.

4)"You're too sensitive." 4) God made me this way and He loves me for it.

5)"You should humble 5) I will never dim my light or look down upon myself in order to lift up

yourself." someone's pride.

6)"No offense but..." 6) It most definitely will be offensive.

7) "I don't mean to down 7) If you have to start a sentence like that

on you but..." then you probably shouldn't be saying it.

8) "You only did..." 8) My achievments are something to be proud of

even if others don't share the same

enthusiasm.

9) "You're not special." 9) Jesus thought I was to die for.

I've realized that this has become an affirming action to take when someone calls you stupid, or ugly, or maybe they're not even direct in their insults. Maybe they've disguised them as guidance or advice. I think we all know a backhanded compliment or some backhanded guidance when we hear it. But, I really want to focus on the one who shapes and molds us to be who we are meant to be, which is Jesus Christ. To be honest, I don't think I would've been able to do this exercise if I didn't know Jesus and what He says about me. I often wonder why I care so much about what people think of me when our track record proves how cruel we can be and how much evil we can contain in our hearts. On top of that, these things that we are told are lies from the enemy. Why in the world would we listen to someone who was kicked out of heaven? It's giving jealous. Satan was kicked out of heaven and he's trying to drag us down with him. Why in the name of all things good and holy, would we listen to him? Why would we listen to all of the things that others say that are influenced by him? Because I know Jesus would never tell me that I'm stupid. I know that Jesus would never tell me that I am worthless and that I am the sum of all my failures.

For those who read this and aren't Christian, you might be thinking that this has nothing to do with you but it does. We as people have all been told something that we thought defined us. We have all heard things that deeply impacted us in a negative way. And as someone who thought before that my grades and my popularity, and my looks were what fulfilled me, I'm going to tell you one thing. You can have it all and still have nothing at all. So for everyone reading this, I encourage you to take back your identity, take back your confidence and place it in Christ. We are so quick to put our identity and confidence in our parents, our social media likes, comments, and views. We put our identity and confidence in our friends and yeah while they may be great, they're not perfect. We place our identity and confidence in our relationships, in our sexuality, in our looks and the clothes and objects we have on our backs. But no one talks about how all of those things might be cool and awesome, but they will still whither and fade, they will still fail.

In conclusion, I believe it has always been the time and still is the time to place ourselves in the hands of the only one who is perfect, the only one who has done no wrong, the only one who has won every battle, the only one with a perfect record. That's Jesus Christ. The Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. He will not forsake you. He will not misplace your trust. He will not diminish your value. He will heal you. He will restore you. He will celebrate with you. He will listen to your worries and your prayers. He will win battles for you before they've even started. That's Jesus Christ.